Tuesday, November 1, 2011

sixteen is not all she seems to be.


I turned sixteen years old this past August. Sixteen. The age I have dreamed of since I was old enough to know what “age” was. I loved the sound of it when I was younger, and I lived in sheer suspense of the day I could answer that always-dreaded grown-up question, “And how old are you, sweetie?” With a lofty, “Why, I am sixteen.” How that would feel! Oh, what an age.
When I envisioned myself at sixteen, I saw a tall, beautiful young lady with gentleness and grace. I would be flawless and magnificently blond-locked, with ivory skin and deep, brilliant blue eyes. Just like the heroines of the books and movies always are at sixteen. In any case, I wouldn’t have any similarities with the six-year-old or ten-year-old or even thirteen-year-old Lucia; no indeed. Those girls would be far in the distant past. I would be sixteen, with no time for child’s play.

Needless to say, the years passed. Fourteen…fifteen…and then, the blessed day: sixteen! Ah, here I am. And how horrified the ten-year-old Lucia would be if she could see me now! No trace of flawlessness, no hint of ivory skin; the blond locks have grown rather brownish and “deep, brilliant blue” is a color my eyes will never be. The terrible truth of the matter is really this: I look very much the same as I have my whole life. Ah, poor childhood reveries!  
And what of the gentleness, the grace? Is the full maturity I imagined for my elder self there? Here I have a little comfort—I can say with assurance that I am a good deal gentler and more graceful than I was five years ago. But I have such a long way to go, I am certain that this fact would not have satisfied the Lucia of yesteryear.
Nevertheless, life goes on, and my sixteenth year still holds much for me. Perhaps the Victorian beauty is still in my future; even if she is not I am not as horribly disappointed as I once would have been. Sixteen is not all I envisaged, yet at the same time it is more. Aging is different than I always supposed—I never thought each year would come upon me so suddenly and quietly, like the gradual tide. I like it that way.
Only one thing has 'age sixteen' quite satisfied me in.
“And how old are you, young lady?”  

“Oh, I am sixteen.”
..It has been every bit the thrill I visualized. ;)


  1. I can't wait to turn sixteen, just because you get to drive & all. It's funny you thought of yourself looking "perfect"! I always thought sixteen was just so "big". Like I'd basically be a grownup and do whatever I wanted. hehe.

  2. Being able to say you're 16 is a wonderful thing! I remember that feeling of finally being seen as more of an adult. :)
    16 is a year to learn, to know who you are, and to find out what God has planned for your life. Spend each day living for the Lord, and He will direct you to His perfect plan.

    Oh, and just wait till you turn 18...it's even more awesome!!!! :)

    Have a lovely day! xxxx~Kelsey

  3. cool, I'm sixteen! I have learned you grow up gradually.

  4. When I was sixteen, I couldn't wait to be eighteen. Then that day came, and I wished I could be fifteen again.

  5. i was this way about turning eighteen. when it happened a few days ago, i had the same revelation, haha

  6. I'm not quite sixteen yet, but when I was younger, I felt exactly as you described. And I was especially excited because at sixteen I'm allowed to wear makeup, wear earrings, get my license. And yes, I do look forward to saying "Why, I'm sixteen."
    giveaway at my blog!

  7. Hah, I turned sixteen in October, and I realized the EXACT same thing {with the exception of me being a brunette}..:)

    Great post!:)

    In Christ,

  8. This is lovely...especially considering that when I was little, 16 was the glamorous age for me as well! Of course, now it's come and gone for me so quickly, as has 17, and now 18! I often find myself looking in the mirror, thinking "Um, when did I get old??" It certainly comes gradually, haha! Enjoy 16 while you can, girl ;) My, how the time flies :)

  9. Lovely post!
    I'm 18 now, but I wish I could go back to being 15. I loved being 15! Growing up comes with so much responsibility and work. I'm not so carefree.....

  10. I'm turning 16 next month... I know I won't look or feel any bigger :), I always used to think 16 was huge as well, well... not really anymore! What I am learning is that every new year in one's life we grow (physically, emotionally and depending on how we learn, in maturity as well), but the most important thing is to grow in the Lord Jesus, otherwise no matter how mature, graceful or beautiful you look it is all rather empty. Jesus gives every new year (including the special 'sweet 16' that newness and hope. I praise Him for that!
    P.S. Lucia, you're really beautiful, without ivory skin or "deep, brilliant blue" eyes or golden hair! Thanks for sharing!

  11. 16 seems like a long time ago for me now! But I can relate to the same feeling...when I was 12 or 13, sixteen sounded SO old. And now I'm years past and still feel young. :) :) :) Growing up isn't as fun as it looks, that is for sure!! :)

  12. 16 is not what I thought it would be either :) Haha. I do love telling people (especially those who think I'm thirteen) that I am sixteen. But really, it isn't that much different from fifteen. Or fourteen. :)

  13. you said it, i nodded in agreement. wonderful words, friend!

  14. Ah yes, been there, thought that... and now I have been 19 for nearly a month. 20 is the age that is looming up on me... :)

  15. Oh, to be 16 again...

  16. haha... its funny how little kids always think being older is "cooler" and everything... Now I tell them "be a kid while you can"! :D Growing up isnt all fun and stuff- you have to start making your own decisions and answering to God! :D and that can be hard!

    <3 ya!


  17. Just wait...it begins to fly by a little more quickly with each year. Enjoy being 16 and being a girl after God's heart! Because it is much more rare these days.... :)

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Ms. Tammy


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