Wednesday, October 12, 2011

romance: is it vital?

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.”

~L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

What does this picture do to you, as a girl? Does it make you sigh, "aww! How cute!" Does it make you smile, just looking at this happy couple in love?

..Does it make you a just a little jealous?

Let's get honest here, girls. We are all looking at that picture and smiling and sighing and thinking how wonderful it is that this man and woman have eachother, but we are also thinking, somewhere deep down in our heart of hearts, "Someday that will be me. Someday, I will have my own romance, full of secret sighs and blushes and stares and tender looks."

..Because we all know what romance is, right?

ro·mance (r-mns, rmns)
a. A love affair.

b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love.

c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something.
...etc. :)

..Yeah, of course. We're girls. A.k.a., romance-is-my-middle-name-if-not-my-first  's. :) The ones who devour a good romance like it's candy, cry when fictional couples are separated, matchmake for our friends in secret, and are in absolute bliss when hearing someone's courtship story.

Yup. I'm pretty sure we understand romance. And we all need it to live. Hands down. :]

..Or do we?

Okay, I'll admit it: I totally want someone, someday, who gives me flowers and tells me I'm beautiful in the rain. I want someone who sweeps me off my feet, gives me cute looks and holds my hand even when I'm old and gray. that really what "romance" is? To the average girl, yes. And to me, yes. At least, it's the sugar-coating; the pretty packaging and lovely accesories that make every love story and marriage beautiful.

But true romance?

I think there is a lot more to it than what fairy tales and Beverly Lewis tell you. I mean, God made love. God made romance. God made marriage. Seeing a pattern here? What if that amazing guy in my future is only an instrument for the life plan God has for me--a picture of His unfathonable love while being my Hero at the same time?

..Or what if there never is an "amazing guy?" What if...
 ...romance isn't in my future? 

We need to wait on His will for our lives, but we don't have to wait for romance to be happy. I'm writing this post to encourage you, ladies, to not get caught up in thinking love is all glitter and goo (wow, romantic way to put it, eh?).

I have spent so much of my "coming-into-womanhood" looking at pictures like this:

..and sighing wistfully. Saying outwardly, "Oh, I'm keeping myself pure and waiting for my Prince, saving my heart and everything I have only for him.." (okay, maybe not quite like that..;) , but inwardly forgetting that I don't need man-romance to make me happy.

I need God-romance first. Anything else He chooses to give me comes second.

Oh, Lord, why did you make girls so...romantic?


  1. Wow, Lucia, you posted this at the perfect time. Today was the first day of my Girl's Bible Study (on Skype) and we were discussing the exact topic of this post. Singleness and what romance truly is.

    We're studying a fabulous book called "His Chosen Bride: Single Girl Secrets to Living Out Proverbs 31". I haven't finished it, but I can already recommend it highly.

    This post was very true. Have a blessed evening!

    In Christ,

  2. Your posts like this certain one are always amazing, Lucia!

    I might be one of the few girls who doesn't highly care for romance..."man-romance," that is...although I might be more romantic than I think I am. Yes, sometimes I do find myself wishing that God would bring my "prince" into my life someday. But when I think about it, I already have my King, Jesus, and I do not need anything or anyone else. He is enough. That's why I'm challenged to always put God-romance first. That's why I love this post. And I don't think there is anything wrong with romance as long as it glorifies God, who is the Author of romance.

  3. You've done it again, Lucia! Wonderful post. It's nice to know that there are other girls out in the world whose primary goal in high school/life is not all about having a boyfriend and knowing, too, that God does have a plan, even though it may not be coming forth when we want it to, the plan is still there (and so is He). :)


  4. 'God-romance'. Wow. Perfect way to put this!

    I see so, so many girls thinking they MUST have a romantic courtship and marriage. That their life doesn't BEGIN until that happens, and I feel sad for them. What if God has a purpose outside of marriage for them? One that has no romance for anyone but Him? I think they'd be very let down, and grieved. As girls, we should keep pure for God, and maybe the one to 'sweep us off our feet'. But, marriage isn't just roses and chocolate, ya know. It's bills, hardships, but we'd do it together, and THAT makes it doable. :-)

  5. I %100 agree with you! I believe that God created romance, and that it is a good thing, if you treat it right.

    I have 2 friends. Both are Christians, but just by the girls personalities, you can tell who is closer in their walk with God. One of my friends is always looking sad and depressed. She won't talk to anyone about it, because she "Doesn't want us to be sad over her." Of course, you know her problem is a guy. The story always the same. Some guy says he likes her, she gets excited, and actually thinks she loves him, when all of a sudden...He dumps her.

    Then, I have this other friend. She has a very strong relationship with God. And instead of dating, she and her family decided that courtship would be the better way to go. She has been with the same guy for over a year now. He is such a nice, godly person.

    When looking at my 2 friends, I know who is happier. My second friend is following God's path for her by making wiser decisions. She is happy, because she knows what true romance is. And that the best way to find it, is to let God show you which path to take.

    Thanks for this wonderful topic.

    ~In his love, Samantha

  6. Wow, Lucia... This was an incredible post. Thank you so much for sharing your encouraging words with us. This post really got me thinking about my own life and how I truly think about romance. Stay strong, dear sister! :)

  7. really true, Lucia! instead of being caught up thinking about our future husband, we need to lean more on God. God will bring along the husband if He wants us to get married.

  8. my friend and i were talking about this and i had said: we're going to let Jesus protect our hearts from defilement.

    in time our hearts will be unlocked, for he will
    give the key to right person.
    and by focusing on our talents,
    our natural, God-given strengths we would be making his name great among nations. the husband/boyfriend will come.
    but our main goals should
    be to serve, not daydream about romantic fantasies

    a most timely, and lovely post lucia.

  9. Great post! And perfect timing too.
    I'm currently...just head over heels in a crush with this guy. Don't know if he likes me back, but whatever. We are really good friends.
    Just that quote alone (love that book) made me think that maybe I shouldn't rush into it with him. I can still be his friend and...maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll fall in love.
    In the meantime, my "romance with God" could use some work. :)
    Thanks, Lucia dear!

  10. Yes, this is something that I have been learning lately myself. That perhaps the reason there is no prospect of courtship or marriage for me in the near future is because I need more time to strengthen my relationship with the Lord.

    And I HEARTILY second the idea of reading His Chosen Bride. I have that book and love it. I like to read it as a devotional in the mornings, because it's a great way to inspire a great day. ;)

  11. This is so good. Good job standing out and giving your thoughts. It's way too easy to think that a romance with a handsome guy is the goal, and spend way too much of our time thinking about it. It's healthy to hope and plan to be married eventually, but God wants us to make Him our everything, not some boy who gives us butterflies.

  12. it is hard to be girl ;) what a great encouraging post to other girlies, friend! you have a gift with words!

  13. Wonderful. I've thought about this, and it's almost like a subject all Christian girls KNOW but don't really THINK about sometimes. Thanks for addressing this! It's nice to have a reminder of what our ultimate goal is.

  14. I Agree 100%!!!
    Thanks so much for this post Lucia!
    ~ It's a subject "near and dear" to my heart -so to say-! =)
    Thanks dear sister!

    Katie L.

  15. Outstanding post, Lucia!
    Very true and thought-provoking~

  16. Wow, thank you so much for this inspirational post! It came at exactly the right time for me. I really needed this today. So thank you for reminding me that "man-romance" is not necessary, but God-romance is vital.


  17. Oh, Lucia...this is so very true. It's something I really, so very badly need to work on within me. Sometimes I get so caught up planning my future...who I should marry, my children's names, etc. that I forget to think about what God wants and that God should be all I need. Thank for you reminding me where my heart should be :) Love you!

  18. This is such a cute post! I admit I'm a hopeless romantic myself, and I have remind myself about God's romance way too often! :)

    Have a lovely day!


  19. Hey Lucia!
    This was a wonderful post! It is so true! Thank you. *hugs*

    And in answer to your question you asked n comment form on my blog, the font that I used to write "Blessngs" is called Mom's Typewriter. You can download it for free here:

    It's one of my favorite fonts. :)

  20. hi!
    Oh NO worries! totaly fine! I understand how that is! This week would work or next week whatever works for you.

  21. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Miss Lu! :) Very nicely put!

  22. Great post!!! You are so right!

  23. huge encouragement, lucia!
    thanks for sharing : )


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