Monday, March 26, 2012

and so, i forgive.




My heart beats wildly. I choke back a sob. I bite back angry words that rise to my lips. I just want to get away--get away from this suffocation, this madness; get away somewhere quiet where I can be alone with my sadness. It is something so small, and yet it has pricked me like a poisoned sword and unleashed my anger. 


I feel hot passion coursing through my veins, and I remember what it is—who it is—who has angered me. I cringe at the thought of their face, I imagine their voice, high and mocking, and it surrounds me. The noise of the house only makes it worse—oh, where is somewhere quiet? Why can’t they let me be? Why do I hate them so? I rush to my closet and pull the door shut, breathing heavily. Alone at last, yet—still that hateful face appears in my mind’s eye, the mouth scorning and smug. I despise it, how it has hurt me. And I whisper that I do.

Yet slowly, the rage melts away, as cool silence envelopes me. I lift my tear stained face from my lap and hear a still, small voice. “My daughter,” it says, so tenderly, so patiently. “My daughter, forgive as I have forgiven you.” The voice is silent, mild, yet it is slowly drowning out the mocking voice that still echoes within me. “Have not you seen my cross?”

I sit for a moment—or perhaps an hour, perhaps a year. Can I forgive? Can I forget? Not alone—oh, never alone. But slowly, without uttering a word, I give it up. I feel His strength within me, able to give me all that I need to let it go. And oh! My hurt is gone, the echo fades; He leads my hate gently away and gives me the peace of forgiveness.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 
(Colossians 3:13)

14 comments:

  1. Your writing has left me breathless, and ready to forgive.

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  2. Wonderful post. Exactly what I needed today :) You have such a talent with words (and photography!)
    I hope the sun is shining wherever you are.
    ~Grace~

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  3. Wow...this was really, really good. So well written, and so truthful!! I can totally relate, girl!
    And isn't our God good??!! To HELP us forgive those who have wronged and hurt us. We have a beautiful testimony of what our God has given us...forgiveness...grace...and love...

    Stay strong, sweetie!
    ::hugs::
    ~Miss Raquel

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  4. Thank you for sharing this, Lucia... it was written beautifully and is quite challenging to forgive because HE did forgive me!

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  5. Lucia, this was so encouraging to me! Thank you for such wonderful reminders! May the LORD bless you! Please pray me, as I seek to own a heart of servitude and forgiveness!
    Love to you, sister in Him,
    Martha Joy

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  6. Lucia, this was so encouraging to me! Thank you for such wonderful reminders! May the LORD bless you! Please pray me, as I seek to own a heart of servitude and forgiveness!
    Love to you, sister in Him,
    Martha Joy

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  7. WOW!!! That was great! So true and powerful!

    Love you!
    Ireland

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  8. oh, lucia, you have no idea how much i needed to read this. thank you so much. it's beautiful and perfect for right now in my life <3

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  9. oh my goodness lucia! that was amazingly breath taking writing!
    wow.

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  10. oh my goodness lucia! that was amazingly breath taking writing!
    wow.

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  11. Lucia, this was incredibly incouraging.
    Forgiveness is something I struggle with. I often feel like I need to reciprocate the wrong, instead of turning the other cheek. Thank you for inspiring me to try harder. :)

    hugs,
    ~bree

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  12. Lucia, this post was so timely! Thank you for your honesty and transparency, and the reminder to forgive as I have been forgiven.

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Aw! Thanks so much for leaving a comment! They make me smile. :)

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